Never have understood this "7 year itch" myth. I've had an itch since I was 3. Just ask my wife as I lay in bed scratching and driving her to new levels of insanity few have experienced.
Seven years ago had she known this realty, she just might have gotten an itch to say "c ya". But lucky for me, I got her locked in, haze-grey and under-way.
Hard to believe this weekend we will have been married for 7 years and known each other for close to a decade. Without getting t0o graphic, those early days sure were fun in the sun - if you get my drift - wink, wink. After all, we did produce identical twins...
This weekend we planned a little excursion of sorts to the W Hotel in Dallas. Been FOUR-EV-ER since we have had a real adult, party night out on the town. I was pumped. Even had a sexy new lingerie outfit picked out that I felt confident and sexy in. It was gonna be one fun evening....
Then Sidney vomited.
"Hello, W Hotel in Dallas? Hi....I need to cancel our reservations for tomorrow. My child just barfed and it looks like we are going to have yet another planned hot night at home. Yes....right...yes she will likely be wearing her baby blue M&M long t-shirt and I will be in boxers. The dogs? Yea, correct....they will either be in the bed or by it....one snoring louder than me."
Married with Children continues...
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Drive-Thru Terror - Village Idiots Are On the Lose
Apparently even more villages than is usual have lost their idiots this week in the DFW area. And for me, they apparently find drive-thru lines a good place to accentuate their ignorance.
Case in point 1- we have a Chick Fi Lay right on the way from my home to my office. They know me by name. I visit nearly daily for tea or breakfast and sometimes lunch. They, like all fast food establishments, have a drive-thru line for autos.
They, like most fast food places we all frequent, have a parking lot with CLEARLY defined parking spaces at a obvious angle the place of business intends for cars to travel through said parking lot. In many cases they have separate entrance and exit points that also coincide with the direction of the parking space stripes I just mentioned. Usually these places also have at least one very visible NO ENTRANCE/EXIT ONLY sign sometimes accompanied with "guidance cones" helping out those that just can't figure it out. Anyone with a brain can easily see that entering the parking lot going the wrong way in a feeble attempt to circumvent the drive-thru line ahead of others or for the sake of being a lazy butt is simply not going to work with cars coming head on trying to leave through the EXIT!
So here I am pulling into the parking lot heading towards the drive thru while listening to "Fake Jerry" (Jerry Jones) on my favorite AM morning show. Coming at me is a lady GOING THE WRONG WAY via the EXIT ONLY entrance. On top of that guess what.....you guessed it....our little Missy is playing Chatty Katty on the flippin' phone.
I am forced to stop in my tracks and a quick game of chicken ensues. I just sit there and stare here down with my hands lifted off the steering wheel as if to say, "Really!? I mean seriously? Are we that stupid as a society now?"
Feeling four of my five of my fingers desperately wanting to curl up leaving one standing rigid for her view I fought back the flesh and just held my ground feeling my look of exasperation was enough for her this bright, glorious Monday morning.
Her response?
She stopped her car, looked at me angrily, raised her hands at me and mouthed a few choice words that I am sure included the likes of "Lord I pray this man is truly blessed today...may his children succeed in all they do and may his business flourish like no other in the future...Amen."
I refused to budge as I waited in line. So she spent the next 60 seconds slowly maneuvering her car between mine and the rest with just inches to spare. I have to admit I laughed out loud watching her respond to the other two cars that honked at her behind me and further relished her hilarious attempt at having to make an eight-point u-turn that took her forever and backed up the line even more.
Oh yea, she did all of this without ever putting down her phone.
Guess she was letting her village know just exactly where she was.
(case in point 2 coming soon)
Case in point 1- we have a Chick Fi Lay right on the way from my home to my office. They know me by name. I visit nearly daily for tea or breakfast and sometimes lunch. They, like all fast food establishments, have a drive-thru line for autos.
They, like most fast food places we all frequent, have a parking lot with CLEARLY defined parking spaces at a obvious angle the place of business intends for cars to travel through said parking lot. In many cases they have separate entrance and exit points that also coincide with the direction of the parking space stripes I just mentioned. Usually these places also have at least one very visible NO ENTRANCE/EXIT ONLY sign sometimes accompanied with "guidance cones" helping out those that just can't figure it out. Anyone with a brain can easily see that entering the parking lot going the wrong way in a feeble attempt to circumvent the drive-thru line ahead of others or for the sake of being a lazy butt is simply not going to work with cars coming head on trying to leave through the EXIT!
So here I am pulling into the parking lot heading towards the drive thru while listening to "Fake Jerry" (Jerry Jones) on my favorite AM morning show. Coming at me is a lady GOING THE WRONG WAY via the EXIT ONLY entrance. On top of that guess what.....you guessed it....our little Missy is playing Chatty Katty on the flippin' phone.
I am forced to stop in my tracks and a quick game of chicken ensues. I just sit there and stare here down with my hands lifted off the steering wheel as if to say, "Really!? I mean seriously? Are we that stupid as a society now?"
Feeling four of my five of my fingers desperately wanting to curl up leaving one standing rigid for her view I fought back the flesh and just held my ground feeling my look of exasperation was enough for her this bright, glorious Monday morning.
Her response?
She stopped her car, looked at me angrily, raised her hands at me and mouthed a few choice words that I am sure included the likes of "Lord I pray this man is truly blessed today...may his children succeed in all they do and may his business flourish like no other in the future...Amen."
I refused to budge as I waited in line. So she spent the next 60 seconds slowly maneuvering her car between mine and the rest with just inches to spare. I have to admit I laughed out loud watching her respond to the other two cars that honked at her behind me and further relished her hilarious attempt at having to make an eight-point u-turn that took her forever and backed up the line even more.
Oh yea, she did all of this without ever putting down her phone.
Guess she was letting her village know just exactly where she was.
(case in point 2 coming soon)
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